10 Reasons Your Toddler's Tantrum Is Actually a Good Thing
14 Apr 2017 20:58
1. Better out than in Tears contain cortisol, the stress hormone. When we cry, we are literally releasing stress from our bodies. Tears have also been found to lower blood pressure and improve emotional well-being, provided there's a loved one close for support. You may have noticed that when your toddler is on the brink of a tantrum, nothing is right. She is angry, frustrated, or whining. You may have also noticed that after the storm has passed, she is in a much better mood. It helps if we let our kids tantrum without trying to interrupt the process so they get to the end of their feelings. "Crying is not the hurt, but the process of becoming unhurt," explains Deborah MacNamara, Ph.D., a parent educator and author of Rest, Play, Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers (or Anyone Who Acts Like One). 2. Crying may help your child learn. A few years ago I was working as a babysitter for a 5-year-old. He was building with some Legos and started having a tantrum because he got stuck. However, after having the tantrum, he sat down and fixed the Lego structure. I've seen many moments like this, where a child is struggling and expressing their frustration helps them to clear their minds so they can learn something new. "Learning is as natural to children as breathing," says Patty Wipfler, the founder of Hand in Hand Parenting. "But when a child isn't able to concentrate or listen, there's usually an emotional issue that's blocking his progress." Research suggests that, for learning to take place, a child must be happy and relaxed, and expressing emotional upset is all part of this process. 3. Your child may sleep better Sleep problems often occur because we parents think the best approach to tantrums and upsets is to try to avoid them. Then, a child's pent-up emotions bubble up when his brain is at rest. Just like adults, children also wake because they're stressed or trying to process something that's happening in their lives. Allowing your child to get to the end of her tantrum improves her emotional well-being and may help her sleep through the night. 4. You said 'no,' and that's a good thing. Chances are the tantrum your toddler is having is because you said 'no.' And that's a good thing! Saying 'no' gives your child clear boundaries about acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Sometimes we may avoid saying 'no' because we don't want to deal with the emotional fallout, but we can stand firm with our limits while still offering, love, empathy, and hugs. Saying 'no' means you aren't afraid of the messy, emotional side of parenting. 5. Your child feels safe to tell you how he feels. Tantrums are actually a big compliment, even if it doesn't always feel that way! In most cases, children aren't using tantrums to manipulate us or get what they want. Often your child is accepting the no, and the tantrum is an expression of how he ...
Category: magazine parents parents_toddlers parents_pre-schoolers parenting