Hip hip hooray! This is how Kenyans went bonkers over the New Year
5 months ago, 1 Jan 08:44
At the stroke of midnight yesterday, Kenyans did all manner of crazy stuff, all in the spirit of celebrating the New Year. We have those who, in moments of reckless abandon, undressed in the full glare of cameras, yelling: “Kwani iko nini”, as they wiggled their bottoms and crazily bobbed their heads in the name of dancing. We have an odd drunk boss somewhere who confessed his undying love for a ‘hot’ intern at his office on Facebook, all in the name of celebrating the New Year. Others spanked random women in night clubs and grabbed them out of excitement. Some men got their family jewels grabbed by drunk women as they said bye to 2017. It is a New Year! Are you wondering why some people have lost their voices and now speak with some raspy or guttural voices? They are among the millions who were wailing like mating hyenas, screeching like owls and howling like cornered wolves yester night as they ushered in 2018. Soiling clothes out of excitement Others woke up today with terrible hangovers after drinking like fish only to learn they soiled their clothes, threw up on sofa sets, Christmas trees, baby’s new shoes and, worst of all, on their mother-in-law. But stranger than fiction is that many fathers and mothers peed in their beds Everyone had spent all their money celebrating Christmas. Money meant for the landlord and school fees had vanished into travel expenses upcountry, Christmas trees decorated with expensive gifts so that neighbours can see how well they are doing, slaughtering goats and buying cases of beer to impress friends and relatives. Even worse, girlfriends and boyfriends House crowded with relatives That is why when you woke up on January first, your family was looking like a pack of gangsters ready to rob you of all the money you struggled to make in 2017 and which, as already stated, was already spent. To be honest, some just hate these relatives and secretly wish they never got married in the first place. The house is crowded with relatives you don’t care about and in-laws waiting for school fees from your, non-existent, hard earned money. You wish you had stayed in the pub and never come back home. Unknown to your wife, you make wild plans in your head to disappear without trace, never to come back. Or run to Uganda, Tanzania or South Africa and resurface years after they buried a banana stem to represent your lost ghost. Crazed screams for being a live Still, one reason you were screaming at midnight on January 31 was because you were thrilled and shocked to discover that you did not die, that you escaped death narrowly last year. Although everyone lives with the knowledge that death will come, no one wants to volunteer. If truth be told, if there is something everyone Many of us missed death by a whisker last year while others had terrible accidents with broken limbs. Indeed, that midnight hour was ...
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