WIFE SPEAK: Don't worry about pet peeves, you'll get over them
2 months ago, 19 July 09:55
I have a terrible reaction to mutton. If the swelling and itching of the skin is not bad enough, the overall feeling of being unwell is such a dumper. More so, if I am at a party and just when things are getting merrier, I have to leave.
There was this girl, back in primary school, who would get such a weird reaction at the sight of ants. Her body would develop goose bumps, and then she would have shortness of breath.
We were mean to her, as children can be, and would go out of our way to find ants, then drag her and trick her into looking at them. We would then sit back and watch, amused at her reaction and suffering.
This incident came to mind the other day as I read an account by a marriage counsellor about pet peeves in relationships that are like allergies. Those really annoying little habits that our spouses have that get under our skins can cause endless conflict and result in the breakdown of the relationship.
I used to think snoring would make me pack up and leave. What a shocker it was those first months of marriage when we would fight in the middle of the night because he snored and kept me awake. And I would have dark circles around my eyes the following day and start dozing in the middle of the day.
Colleagues would joke that my honeymoon was getting the better of me. If only they knew!
But since the day the babies landed, no amount of snoring disrupts my sleep any more. I am just grateful to have three hours of uninterrupted sleep. My head hits the pillow and I black out. Only a child’s cry gets me off slumberland. I am not even upset when hubby says that I took over from him and that I now snore...
We have pet peeves that to date test each other’s patience. I can be scatterbrained. Okay, I am completely scatterbrained. I think better and find order in my disorganised shelves. And I completely hit the roof when he or anyone else organises my stuff. Thank you very much, but I know in which pile my birth certificate is stuffed.
He panics if we are filling in an important or urgent application that requires documents that we rarely use, like high school leaving certificates, because he is suspects that I could have disposed of it with some piles of paper.
You see, he is annoyingly orderly. He keeps everything filed and appropriately marked. Shirts in his closet are arranged in order of the frequency he puts them on – from the most worn to the least, or something like that.
I stopped managing his side of the closet because I would get upset about reminders like: “The T-shirts should be there and the formal shirts should face that way.”
I tell him the reason that I am not that orderly is because I notice dust every ...
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