4 Subtle Ways To Feel Instantly More Connected To Your Partner
12 months ago, 2 Jan 21:31
Whether you've been with your partner for a couple months or many years, sometimes it's the tiniest gestures of love that make the biggest impact. Sure, planning elaborate dates or gushing about your love for each other can be great, but at the end of the day, a seemingly simple comment can mean everything. (Add something extra to your sex life with the JimmyJane Form 8 vibe from the Women's Health Boutique.) To learn just what to say to make your partner feel adored, we chatted with top therapists (and a few of our bros at Men's Health) for specific statements that will help you talk your way to tighter bonds. Here's exactly what to say if you want to strengthen your connection with your partner: This simple phrase is powerful for confirming how right you are together—your partner will take pride in that, says Eli Finkel, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois, and author of The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work. "The feeling that you really know each other is what keeps you a 'we' rather than two 'I's," says Amy Banks, M.D., director of advanced training for the Jean Baker Miller Center for Relational Growth in Wellesley, Massachusetts. "That's perhaps the most important thing about partnering: knowing you belong with someone." Watch men & women explain how they know they're in love: Describing a character trait you admire in your partner is better than a generic "I love you" because it's something you've observed about just him or her, says Megan Fleming, Ph.D., a New York City sex and relationship expert. Pointing it out when you notice it makes your compliment feel more real—and more poignant, because it shows your partner's strengths are not going unnoticed. On the flip side, feel free to playfully jab at his missteps. Psychologists call it "unconditional positive regard"—when we show our partner we see his flaws realistically but love him anyway, it encourages him to be more authentic around you, which can strengthen your bond, Finkel says. (Spice up your sex life with this organic lube from the Women's Health Boutique) "It can feel so good at the end of a long day to have someone simply appreciate you," says Banks. Relationships need to be constantly fed with mutual respect and gratitude. "I dated a girl who said this every now and then," says Dean Stattmann, special projects editor at Men's Health. "It struck a chord every time, and I'd feel motivated to be the best boyfriend I could possibly be." (It helps you too: Studies show expressing gratitude makes you feel closer to your SO.) This article originally appeared in the January/February 2018 issue of Women's Health. For more great advice, pick up a copy of the issue on newsstands now!
Category: magazine women